Day 6 - a crack in the mirror

FOOD - Dinner Monday night was a thai bean mixture from Trader Joes, that I added chicken to and served over jasmine rice, which was very spicy, quite easy, and good. After dinner, the evening deteriorated (see below) and I had to eat again -- opting for several Girl Scout peanut butter sandwiches. I'm really not sure how many...the spool was already opened and there were still some left when I was "done." That did not completely satisfy so I also had some triscuits with peanut butter on them. (Let me just pause here to say that until THIS VERY MOMENT I did not realize how much peanut butter was the centerpiece of my diet...it's only in writing it down again and again in this blog that it has occurred to me). This morning I had a bowl of Total Honey Clusters and a couple of cups of coffee.

MOOD - Very crabby last night. I was trying to make a delicious dessert for Staff Lunch today, as it is my responsibility to do so this month. I opted to make a quite simple recipe for "Espresso Brownies." But I messed it up big-time -- it got burnt around the edges and was uncooked in the middle. I was really Really REALLY angry. I did not treat my husband or Griffin very well. This all happened about 5 minutes before my TV program came on - a special 2-hour episode of "24". So I plopped down to sulk in front of the TV and wouldn't you know...the satellite dish wasn't working properly. (&%@*^+#!!!!!) It seemed everything was blowing up in my face and I was just getting angrier and angrier. I had to get on the phone with DirecTv people, run diagnostic tests, go outside with a flashlight, etc. etc. and I was missing my program and I had burned the special dessert and I truly felt like my head was going to fly off. Eventually, the tv worked again and I saw some of my program, and everyone went to bed -- I apologized to Griffin for being such a rat to him during my little event. I also apologized to Rob. Lucie had been out of the line of fire so she was completely oblivious and still wanted her regular fare of hugs and kisses. So when the house was quiet and I was left to my devices, I ate. And now, in the dawn of a new day, I realize that my freakish reaction to all this bad stuff was CHEMICAL and CYCLICAL, if you get my drift... I guess I'm relieved I'm not going insane, but still, I was a bit scary -- not only to my family but to myself. This morning I am feeling much better, but I'm still a little edgy.